


i think i never loved you more (said the pillow to the head)

by msbrokenbrightside



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Knifeplay, La Petite Mort Quite Literally, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Vaginal Fingering, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 04:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msbrokenbrightside/pseuds/msbrokenbrightside
Summary: Prompt: “ keyleth/raishan, creative stabbing (how've neither of us gotten into knifeplay w those disasters yet)“





	i think i never loved you more (said the pillow to the head)

**Author's Note:**

> What a better way to christen the fanwork blog then some femslash huh? Self-beta’d at 11 at night so ymmv.
> 
> ([“Rifle Scissor Stone (Radio FM4 Accoustic Session)” by Squalloscope](https://soundcloud.com/squalloscope/rifle-scissor-stone-radio-fm4))

With three hundred years behind them the curse has spread farther.

Before it only clung to the veins along Raishan’s neck but now it spreads down her chest—wrapped tightly around her heart—until finally fading mid-thigh.

Normally that’s where Keyleth’s attention would lie. Nipping sharply at the soft skin until Raishan would pull Keleth’s attention further up her trembling limbs. Keyleth has learned a great deal of patience in her years. She’s found it easy to spend hours teasing Raishan to points of mind-numbing bliss. Killing Raishan is not the only way to shut her up.

That doesn’t stop them, however, from delving close to the precipice.

Like tonight, where Keyleth follows the dark veins along Raishan’s stomach with a dagger. So far only traces of black blood have slipped free. Keyleth has treated the dagger like the wind and a leaf caught in its breeze. She has not decided to become a tempest just yet. The freedom of not just being nature but also its mediator allows for powerful control. This is not what all the lessons in her youth were meant for. But it’s important to apply her knowledge in a variety of ways.

Even though it’s only been shallow cuts, Raishan took two of Keyleth’s fingers without resistance. Open and so wet trails of it mixed with blood from the cuts on the inside of her thighs.

Now she’s at four fingers, pressing deep inside Raishan’s cunt.

Keyleth follows the arch of Raishan’s bowed chest, up to her heart with the dagger. Pressing it against the mess of darkness that appears above the organ and watching hungrily as Raishan presses up against the dagger. Keyleth wonders and digs the tip in just enough to pool some blood, bites her lip when she hears Raishan keen.

With all this time they have had together, begrudgingly at first, they’ve learned more about each other than any have in the past. Keyleth thinks Vax came close but he was not around to see how Keyleth has grown. The new intricacies in her that come as she passes through the ages. Raishan has been the only constant in them. Ever since Keyleth learned that gods do not see a hundred or so years as enough payment for a curse.

At first it brought anger to Keyleth, to know Raishan was brought back from death. She’s grown to understand the fittingness of this punishment though. As Raishan scrambles to find a cure, now weakened even further since regaining life.

Keyleth no longer feels the fury she had in the past. She wouldn’t say she feels pity anymore either, Raishan dug her own grave in the temple just beyond her lair. But she will miss having a link to her past. Keyleth will even miss parts of Raishan herself. The wry humor, the inquisitive mind, the unrelenting drive. A younger Keyleth would think how much Raishan could have done for the world. The current Keyleth knows better than to bother dwelling on the alignments of creatures. Especially ones approaching their end.

Life is a cycle neutral to everything. The dead feed the living. Keyleth is not a boot to an anthill—she never will be, she will always help them live as much as she can—but she is the earth and sky and water that watches as they continue the cycle.

Raishan would be proud that Keyleth has learned something from her. Until she knew the lesson was being applied to her.

But then, maybe she would still.

Pride, Keyleth has learned being with Raishan, takes many forms.

Raishan would cherish knowing her knowledge kept on in Keyleth after she has passed. Especially with the taste of losing it, during that battle long ago.

She still searches for a cure, of course, but Keyleth knows that does not mean Raishan would not welcome a death without the loss of her mind.

Which speaks, then, to how she presses against the dagger to her heart.

Keyleth swallows thickly, mouth dry.

“Would you like me to end your suffering now? Stop this curse from stealing _everything_ from you?” Keyleth asks. She can hardly hear her voice over the rush of her own blood in her ears.

The lines between pleasure and pain are often blurred. Especially for them.

Keyleth raises the dagger high, staring at where Raishan’s heart lies behind skin and bone, and curls her fingers inside Raishan.

Raishan’s eyes fly open and Keyleth understands why some gods would accept a living sacrifice, in this moment—thinks daringly that this is her own sacrifice, not Melora’s, laid out before her.

She rushes the dagger towards Raishan’s heart, where Raishan’s blood must be rushing as quickly as Keyleth’s own. All of it would burst from Raishan’s chest to cover the dagger and Keyleth. Her hand, her chest, maybe even her face.

It would if Keyleth let the dagger plunge into Raishan’s chest.

But instead she stops it, barely a space between the sharp edge and Raishan’s chest.

Raishan screams as she comes, as if she _were_ stabbed—a strangled wrath of a scream—while her fists pound the bed. Desperate for what Keyleth has denied and given her at the same time.  

The rush of the action has Keyleth gasping for breath. She watches as Raishan twists and arches and releases an angry sob from the last of the aftershocks.

“Bitch,” Raishan seethes when she can speak, still clenching tightly on Keyleth’s fingers.

Keyleth grins, sharp like the dagger.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought in the comments! I'm also on tumblr [here](http://msbrokenbrightside.tumblr.com/) (main) & [here](https://aconstantshift.tumblr.com/) (fanworks).


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